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Stuff Today - Issue 9331

Thursday 12 February 2026

National Armpit Raspberry Day

Today's Former Albanian Monarch: Zog

The Deeper Meaning Of Liff

KENTUCKY, adv.

Fitting exactly and satisfyingly. The cardboard box that slides neatly into an exact space in a garage, or the last book which exactly fills a bookshelf, is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'.

The Devil's Dictionary

MATERIAL, adj.

Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

Material things I know, or fell, or see;
All else is immaterial to me.
Jamrach Holobom

Roger's Profanisaurus

RFHTFH, abbrev.

Phrase applied to eastern European women, or a fat lass in a Sheffield bun shop. Rather Fuck Her Than Fight Her.

Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact

The patent number of the telephone is 174465.

Poem Of The Day

The Insect Ball

The antelope came scuttling
Over Termite's Lair,
With a jar of daddy long legs'
In his auburn curly hair.
The moon it was a-glowing,
The rain began to fall,
The termites they were dancing
For it was the Insect Ball.
 
One by one, on spidery legs,
The daddies jumped their jar,
And went to join the termites
In the long queue at the bar.
The earwigs were in yellow,
The centipedes in green.
The antelope just turned his head
To pretend he hadn't seen.
 
The clock then struck eleven,
A song began to play.
The insects chose their partners,
And they danced the night away.

- Kate Rancid (b. 1973)

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