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Stuff Today - Issue 9174
Monday 08 September 2025
National Nose Picking Day
KIBBLESWORTH, n.
The footling amount of money by which the price of a given article in a shop is less than a sensible number, in a vain hope that at least one idiot will think it cheap. For instance, the kibblesworth on a pair of shoes priced at 19.99 is 1p.MEANDER, n.
To proceed sinuously and aimlessly. The word is the ancient name of a river about one hundred and fifty miles south of Troy, which turned and twisted in the effort to get out of hearing when the Greeks and Trojans boasted of their prowess.SIR CLIFF'S NECK, n.
The bit of taut, elongated scrotum just above the bit that's got your knackers in.Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact
Poem Of The Day
I have just written most of a poem, but I'm having difficulty with the last line. Can anyone help?
As I was walking down the street
I smelt the smell of cheese
I stood and sniffed and closed my eyes
Against the scrumptious breeze
Delicious brie all ripe and wet
Some stilton brown and strong
And pont l'eveque, quite moist yet firm,
Emitting quite a pong.
I looked around, consumed with greed,
To try and find the source,
I MUST HAVE CHEESE, I said out loud,
With passion too, of course.
I wandered round to no avail,
The smell grew stronger still,
I thought if I did not get cheese,
Someone I'd have to kill.
For miles and miles I searched in vain,
Then sat and gave a grunt,
It WASN'T cheese I'd smelt at all!
...
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