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Stuff Today - Issue 9157

Friday 22 August 2025

Blank Day

Today's Municipal Utility: Sewerage Works

The Deeper Meaning Of Liff

GUERNSEY, adj.

Queasy but unbowed. The kind of feeling one gets when discovering a plastic compartment in a fridge in which thing are growing.

The Devil's Dictionary

ITCH, n.

The patriotism of a Scotchman. ?

Roger's Profanisaurus

CHUFFDRUFF, n.

Muffdruff. Residual flakes of desiccated mess and fanny batter found on the mapatasi. Pubic equivalent of mammary dandruff.

Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact

An alligator has about 80 teeth in its mouth at one time. An alligator can go through 3,000 teeth in a lifetime

Poem Of The Day

Chips

Chips!
Chips!
Lick your lips!
Get some dips
and swing your hips.
Forget about life's blips
And drips,
Just get a plate of chips!
 
When the winter snow, it nips,
And pierces like a thousand whips,
And devastating north wind rips,
Be heated with a plate of chips!
 
Oh, chips and chips
And chips and chips
Oh, heed my tips
And eat your chips.
 
No acid trips
Or pancake flips
Or sherry sips
Compare to chips.
On land or ships
Oh, get to grips
With potato strips.
They've got no pips.
 
My heart, it skips,
My memory slips,
My mind, it kips
And dreams of chips.
 
Chips.

- Mike Stools (b. 1962)

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