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Stuff Today - Issue 9085

Wednesday 11 June 2025

National Nose Picking Day

Today's Horse: Kentucky Mountain Saddle Horse

The Deeper Meaning Of Liff

KIBBLESWORTH, n.

The footling amount of money by which the price of a given article in a shop is less than a sensible number, in a vain hope that at least one idiot will think it cheap. For instance, the kibblesworth on a pair of shoes priced at 19.99 is 1p.

The Devil's Dictionary

MEANDER, n.

To proceed sinuously and aimlessly. The word is the ancient name of a river about one hundred and fifty miles south of Troy, which turned and twisted in the effort to get out of hearing when the Greeks and Trojans boasted of their prowess.

Roger's Profanisaurus

SIR CLIFF'S NECK, n.

The bit of taut, elongated scrotum just above the bit that's got your knackers in.

Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact

Eating chocolate three times a month helps people live longer as opposed to people who overeat chocolate or do not eat chocolate at all

Poem Of The Day

Unfinished Poem

I have just written most of a poem, but I'm having difficulty with the last line. Can anyone help?
 
As I was walking down the street
I smelt the smell of cheese
I stood and sniffed and closed my eyes
Against the scrumptious breeze
 
Delicious brie all ripe and wet
Some stilton brown and strong
And pont l'eveque, quite moist yet firm,
Emitting quite a pong.
 
I looked around, consumed with greed,
To try and find the source,
I MUST HAVE CHEESE, I said out loud,
With passion too, of course.
 
I wandered round to no avail,
The smell grew stronger still,
I thought if I did not get cheese,
Someone I'd have to kill.
 
For miles and miles I searched in vain,
Then sat and gave a grunt,
It WASN'T cheese I'd smelt at all!
...

- Kate Rancid (b. 1973)

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